"My 12-year-old is suddenly avoiding school and says she has 'stomach aches' every morning. I suspect bullying but she won't talk to me. How do I help without making it worse?"

— Worried in Wisconsin

It is so hard to watch our children pull away when we know they are hurting. First, remember that 'stomach aches' are very real physical manifestations of anxiety. Instead of pushing for a 'confession' about bullying, try focusing on the connection first. You might say, 'I've noticed you've been having a lot of stomach aches lately, and I'm wondering if your heart or your mind is feeling a bit heavy too.' Give her space to not answer. Sometimes, just knowing you see her is enough to start the crack in the wall. When she is ready, we can move into problem-solving, but right now, she needs to know you are her safe harbor.